Tattoo WIPs

I was playing a game with a friend based on one of my old sci-fi stories. So I decided to work on my character's tattoos.
I really like blue hair, especially when it is Mohawk and also I really like using "Blue" as a name. So, this is one of my "Blue-Named-Characters." Mostly they taking their names from their hair of course. I don't know why I became so obsessive with that color in last years.

Well, I couldn't do much also I did that at 5th of April. Hmm, I should poke the girl so we can continue to game.

Also, I turned my blogger interface to old version but then I saw this "The old Blogger interface will be removed in the coming month. Upgrade Now." Really? Scumbag Blogger Y U NO LET ME USE WHATEVER INTERFACE I WANT TO USE?!! SAME FOR YOU GMAIL!! I hate you all fuckers.


Mother's Day Postcard Sketches

The-charitable-foundation's-name-here-which-is-i-remove-because-of-being-professional requested some postcard designs for Mother's Day.

I'm having really terrible months, oh the diseases how I HATE you. I just want a painless day, just one, without any illness, any allergy. I was trying to work on those postcards but I couldn't find a moment to draw something. Besides this, the inspiration came to me IN THE LAST WEEK OF APRIL at 4 am!!! Like a joke, like a f***ing joke.

Those last comic scripts I draw, making them almost took 15 mins, give or take it. But the pain... I am freaking out here.

Forgive the poor photos, don't have a scanner here :<

Oh, hello new friend, the painkillers cocktail.

So, cheers!

*down the hatch!*

Shitstorm! - Vol. II

Shitstorm! - Vol. II (I cut it half the previous writing so I can focus on different shits.) I'm going to talk/write about some minor things now. Like relationship between characters. I saw so many people bitching about the how less conversations are. They are so damn right. In some moment Liara should talk about how our little blue children going to like. We should drink with Garrus and talk about good old days. When you didn't romance both Garrus and Tali, they start showing interest to each other. That was a nice one but I want to see more of them. Would be nice if we saw a mini-cinematic between Tali and Garrus when preparing for the Last Push. I wish when I was reading my messages in my cabin and thinking about the mission, Liara come by hug and give a little kiss to me, "Just want to say how much I love you Shepard," then she leaves. Or we can do such thing to our love interests in game. People, lovers, friends can just randomly want to show each other how they were special to them. I bite softly people's shoulder when I want to show them to I care. It's my weirdness though but you get my meaning.
"I love you pumpkin."
Doodle by me.

Do anyone realized how cheap dialogues was? I mean even you didn't romance with characters they still acting like you have the potential. I tried to be friendly to Kaidan but he fell in love with my FemShep. There should be an option "stay as friends." What the hell is "being professional"? I AM ROMANCING WITH LIARA SINCE FIRST ME! So actually I'm not being professional since I was allowing my "bondmate" in an alliance vessel. We decided to have lots of blue babies. There must be an option about that.
Kaidan: "I want to talk about us."
Shep: "Us?" (With a raising eyebrow)
Kaidan: "I have feelings for you Shepard."
Shep: "Kaidan... you are my friend and a good soldier I can always count on it." (Cliche!)
Kaidan: "I want to be more than this, Shepard." (Puppy eyes.)
Shep: "Kaidan, sorry. There is..." (music entrance "I was lost without you" and Shepard's head turned forward, her eyes focus on something) "There is someone else." (Cam changing so we can see Liara from Apollo's Cafe)
Kaidan: "I... see." (Kaidan squint at Liara under his eyelashes then drop his head while turning his eyes away) "That wasn't the answer I was hoping for."
Shep: "..."
(then dinner arrives)
Kaidan: "Oh, when did it get here." (Trying to smile.) "So, you're the one going to pay than." (Or whatever he said in original dialogue.)
Shep: (Chuckles)
And how to hell Kaidan just suddenly forget his love? I mean he was taking signals wrong since ME1. After 3 years, still in love with Shepard. No one can rip such a 3-years-old-love from their heart or mind this quick. After that little talking he act like he never had feelings. And only thing that make my argument wrong was his last words, "Don't get me wrong Shepard, I will fight like hell to see you in the other side." Okaaay, sensitive-possible-gay-boy still have feelings to FemShep. I thought he is going to kiss me and it get scare the hell out of me! 

I told Cortez to get safety and his answer was "Anything for you Shepard!" this is little bit "more than friends" kinda dialogue, y'know? MAN IS GAY! And I'm female. Come on.

In the game, there is some cinematics without Shepard. For example Admiral Hackett and Anderson talk in the beginning then later Hackett and the Crucible. Necessary things. But there would be a mini cinematics for fun and for side-stories. Showing us what the hell happening in other people's lives. Which can show us Kaidan, while he was drinking... with someone. With James maybe? Come on, sensitive boy just rejected by his 3-years-old-love, little drinking and pep talk, guy-to-guy, you know? Like brocode! Or with Specialist Treynor? Little bit fooling around, don't have to take this one serious;

Samantha: "So, yeah. There was someone I liked. A women, actually. I gave all the signals but she just... refuse them. All of them. Damn I was so suure."
Kaidan: "Yeah... it was, almost 3 years. Y'know. ans she said, there is someone else. She was always nice to me. And we share so much things. Friends we lost, than Geth, Reapers... Normandy's crash... I was so, so ruined when I thought she was dead. then I saw her, I..."
Samantha: "Wait, who are you talking about?"
Kaidan: "I-I'm talking about... Shepard."
Samantha: "Shepard? I thought she was into men and because of that she refuse me... nicely like not understand what was my intention."
Kaidan: "Wait, you were talking about Shepard?"
Samantha: "Yes, I was... that was, awkward. You know?"
Kaidan: "Yeah... I know."
Samantha: "But then who is she interesting?"
EDI: "Sorry to interrupt. Commander Shepard has a long term relationship with Dr. T'soni."
Samantha: "Really? I never saw them close to each other."
EDI: (from lounge's speakers) "They are very busy about their duties and don't have enough time to see each other."
Samantha: "Even they are in same ship?"
EDI: "Yes."
Kaidan: (mubble mubble) "From a lower deck rumor to the reality."

I really like dialogues between James and Fem"Lola"Shep, well there would be more though. Dr. Chakwas should have more role and dialogues. I mean, after few hard mission later we can saw her while patching us up. 

What about Kal'Reegar? That man sacrifice himself and his team near to end of game. We learn that shit from ANN? Why Tali didn't show any emotional breakdown or something? Why we did not talk with her? He was Tali's friend, right? So why?

What the hell Kolyat asked us if we remember him? Man, we saved your ass for the sake of your dad and his loyalty. Of course we remember you. Also, I saw some vids. Why Kolyat don't said "He loved you, Commander. As much as he loved my mother," kind of things to Shepard who romanced with Thane?

Ashley called Shepard as "Skipper" and she never use this nickname in ME3. Not even in dreams if she died in Virmire. 

Romance Shit
One of the things make me so mad was romance options. Okay, I actually stick with my adorable blue cupcake Liara but I can't just stay without seeing injustice in this. I don't care if they continued from ME2 or not, but giving M!Shep 5 options while F!Shep having only 2 is a FUCKIN' injustice (put aside the options for both). We get it, game industry still refusing "existence of girl gamers" and you are not into same sex relationship(!) since you make the gain Paramour Achievement with only opposite sex relationship and not giving M!Shep a male romance option in ME2. And "end" must be close since you suddenly decided to give us Cortez, Samantha and Gay-Kaidan but not Gay-Ash in ME3.

Also I was talking with a friend about generally ME3 and she remind me few things I missed. She was romanced with Kaidan, and according to her there was a "Oh, I want you right now let's go and fuck at Normandy," kind of dialogue options. Seriously? Okay, after reminding Liara how I want to make our little blue children I would like to see wake up near to her few times. Maybe just cuddling. We're busy like hell because of duty but you can always find time for cuddling. But making romance dialogues straight to the "let's fuck" is so unprofessional and lame. We're in 21th Century people, even gamers have boy/girlfriend. We know how to fuck and I can assure you we even know more then how to fuck.

Under the Mask
I wasn't romance with Tali but when I checked Mass Effect Wiki I saw Tali's Photo. Seriously? Everybody can choose a stock photo and do some un-artistic photomontage. 


I saw so many Quarian and Tali concept arts made by fans. They were far beautiful and artistic than this lame photomontage. I want to share few of them;

Left: By Annergy -  Middle: By Nebezial, 3d model of his wife Calisto-Lynn's Tali re-desing. - Right: By Alecyl
Left: By Weissidian - Right: By Calisto-Lynn
This known as made by someone called "Vaspez." Unfortunately I couldn't find the original one.

Also few Quarian Concept Arts made by fans again;

By Miss-Dronio, also she has a Kal'Reegar art, which is "manly."

Maybe we can even like Tali's Photo if she should looked like this;

At least anatomy is correct.

You know, what? We could not accept it even she looked like this. Don't get me wrong, Unicron9 do a good job with fixing that lame photo, but when you think of BioWare you can see this is not enough. Why? Let me tell. Because in ME2 when we talked with Matriarch Aethyta in the bar, she said something like "how she was old" and "how was it sucks when you get that old and nobody around you remember what Quarians looked like under their helmet." If Quarians looked like such semi-human or pink-skinned-asari-without-hair-tentacles-but-hair she wouldn't say that or she would bitching about it differently. So why the heavens Aethyta said something like that?! Lazy BioWare is LAZY.

Drinking Issius
Another thing, Dr. Chackwas said, "I learn my lesson Commander. Even a Krogan couldn't match you drink-for-drink." But we get deadly drunk with what 3-4 shots at Purgatory and wake up near the Aria? And when we go for another round wake up in the elevator and no more drinks for us? Oh, come ooon!! Okay, as Shepard we can't dance we know that, but drink? Come on. And don't say what s/he drink is important. They could make few options, "Drink," "Get drunk," "Get deadly drunk." Or wouldn't be nice if we woke up in that elevator shoulder to shoulder with James Vega. Think about the conversations!
Vega: "Ugh, the hell we drink Lola/Loco?"Shep: "That was a hell of shore leave Lieutenant. Lets back to Normandy before they send a search team."Vega: "Roger that."
(It's 3 a.m. something, I can only be this creative right now.)
All the ME series I finally like Ashley when I saw her on the floor, drunk as hell.
Ash: "I hate you."
Shep: "I hate you...?"
Ash: "Ma'am."
Shep: "As you were, Williams."
Ash: "Hmm... cold floor."
And why the hell everybody can drink in the lounge but Shepard can't?

Asari Father-In-Law
We met Matriarch Aethyta at Apollo's Cafe in Citadel. That was nice, and as Shepard realizing she is Liara's father was awesome. Nobody messes with my girl! After making Liara to talk with her, I wish there was more option for us to interfere. Father-in-Law Matriarch Aethyta, hilarious. Also she gave a Asari Commando girls who worked with Eclipse to Liara, why we don't get any "Shadow Broker's Personal Asari Commando Team" update? Or "Ex-Eclipse Commando Asari Girls" update? WHY?! Or why Matriarch Aethyta and her followers didn't join us? Seeing her in action wouldn't be awesome? She is not a Commando but like she said, after all those years you can learn how to fight dirty. We even can talk with her from comn when we were preparing for the Last Push. Again, think about the conversations!
Shep: Matriarch Aethyta.
Aeth: Shepard.
Shep: I appreciate the help.
Aeth: Yeah, yeah. What was I gonna do? I can't let my little girl to get upset over your sorry ass.
Shep: *chuckles*
Aeth: Hey, Shepard.
Shep: Yes?
Aeth: Watch yourself out there. I'm kinda thinking it's time for me to have grandkids.
Shep: Acknowledge.
Dude! I'm Commander Shepard, I'm fighting through the Husks and all the other abominations, I'm a badass, tomboy, military woman. What the fuck is that bra? I think she even not have enough boobs for that damn bra! All characters' personality change with the gamer and some minor thing such as underwears shows part of that personality. And my badass military woman definitely not the bra type woman. She absolutely wear a boyish mini-short kind of undies with a tank top. There should be a way to choose character underwears! Those ugliest classic women underwears ruin the night(?) I spend with Liara. And with that the galaxy's most adorable Asari thinks humans have sex with shitty underwear, really BioWare, really? MAN DID YOU EVER TRY TO SLEEP WITH SUCH BRA!! IT IS PAIN IN THE ASS! Now, I'm waiting for a some kind of mod or something. Don't like the nude mods though.

I was a Vanguard so no Omni-Blade for me. Okay, I can accept that because I get a fancy Biotic-Punch. And I LOVE it. It was more suitable to my Shepard then Omni-Blade. When Thane wounded by Kai Leng I want to tear him apart with my ass-kicking biotic. But instead of this I stab him with Omni-Blade. What. The. Fuck. Since we going to stab that SOB with fucking Omni-Blade why you didn't let me to use fucking Ombi-Blade from beginning of the fucking game?!

War Assets? Results?
We do so much things around the galaxy. We make Krogan-Turian and Geth-Quarian peace, cured the Genophage, released the Rachni, help the Citadel Security and other things. Their consequences must be more then just War Esset numbers. I mean I hit the 5000+ points in my semi-3rd play but nothing changed? 

Who the hell possessed the Joker's mind so he runned away from the fight with our crew on board? Why the heck our squadmates were in that fricking ship? How they save their asses from Harbinger's laser? Did Liara or EDI or another one are such idiots to change their combat outfits to casual ones IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT?! If we decided to destroy the synthetic life showing how Geth or EDI burn out would nailing the concept. And after all that shaking how Joker can still walk?!

To be honest I don't get the idea of labelling the endings as color names; blue, red and green? Also I didn't get why people bitching about that color labels, too. Only thing is sticking in my head was Green. Why Green? There are three primary colors, which are blue, red and yellow. Why Green instead of Yellow? Or when you mixed the blue and red you will have purple or violet, whatever. Still why Green instead of Purple or Violet? There is a higher meaning in the Green we don't know? Or it is just because money is Green? Is it a help call sending by BioWare? Like when we in Luna Base and destroy the rough AI (EDI) we saw a message comprised by 1s and 0s. Which is meaning was "HELP."


I wrote this one in 9th of April but forget to post it... so here it is. Maybe I will add more things later. Also check this out. and follow the comic!

Plus, what the fuck happened to Blogger? This new posting shit is so fucking... *sigh*

Can anybody tell me if there is any "turn to old version" button and where the hell it is? I'm so tired and irritated for checking it right now.


Step 1: Denial and Isolation

Five Stages of Grief

I was thinking about a geeky web comic thing for me and my friends. So... I think I decided to start with ME3. These days I can't draw something more than this kind of stuff. It's hurting my hand.

With ME3's Ending and Lost of BioWare I feel like I lost a very good friend.



Shitstorm! - Vol. I

So, yeah I decided to write. I spend last few months with a great curiosity for one of the my favorite games, Mass Effect. Because that awesome game series was about the end and that end should be LEGEN-wait for it-DARY. This was what we all ME fans and gamers expected. So what we gain? A good game, NOT awesome, with a shitty end. I'm so fucking glad I didn't buy the game.

For some reasons I wait before play and avoid the spoilers, in the meanwhile some of my friends told me how they were upset.

"Ending sucked!"

"They fucked the game in last 5 minutes! 5 minutes!"

"After DA2 and now with ME3, I totally lost my faith in BioWare!"

"Especially YOU gonna hate the ending and the BioWare more then me!"

Especially me? What the fuck? It can't be that bad, can it? After all of this bad impressions I feel I should hold my expectations low, very low. Because I loved BioWare and their games. I don't want to lose my respect and love to their work. And when I start playing the game I was like, "Wait now, this game is good, man. Good." There were certain scenes made me ALMOST cry. But generally game was weak about relationships, dialogues and feelings, I'll go back to that later.


I always talked about between peace the Quarians and the Geth in the game. I found EDI very interesting. I can talk like I'm Commander Shepard, now. Don't think I lost myself in a game, because I know what is reality and what is not. The reason of playing ME, and several other games is that you can feel the game and the story. Reactions of the character is reactions of the gamer (you don't say?!). I could choose the "Get rid of that thing!" option for EDI when Cerberus upload her to Normandy. But as Shepard and the gamer I knew the dangers of AIs and Cerberus from first game and still take the risk and answer with humor, "Joker gonna so much hate this."

As Shepard we found Legion (I'm using "we" instead of "I" because I'm referring generally gamers not just myself). Legion showed us how the Geth were different from what we think. We help him to rewrite/destroy the heretics. When Tali and Legion fight each other for data we show them there were a greater threat and both Quarians and Geth can't always be in fight each other.

When we finished the Shadow Broker DLC we have a chance to read lots of thing, including conversation between Legion and EDI. Even AIs have their own ways to understand each other and organics.

In ME3, EDI gain a body. She and Joker started a relationship, as an organic and a synthetic life forms. It was humorous, interesting and hopeful for the future of the both life forms. EDI experienced to have a humanoid body. Analyzed almost everything she read, heard about human nature. Asked questions about them, when we answered all of her questions with patience and understanding she decided to re-write her own programing with specific priorities. This was the her way of evolve. She was like a little child with full of curiosity and desire to learn.

When we met Quarians and the Legion again, we see how the Geth worried from destruction and for their survival they even choose to be a tool to the Reapers. As a Shepard-Commander we enter the virtuality of the Geths and saw their memory records. When they created to serve by Quarians they were like children. Curious and eager to learn, like EDI. They asked a question but despite the gaining a proper answer they were forced to shut down and destroyed. Few Quarians tried to protect them and Geth refuse that protection for the sake of that Creator. They tried to surrender but terrified Quarians killed their own people when they aiming to Geth. When Quarians escaped from their "homeworld," Geth do not followed them, there was no reason to follow and wipe out from entire Quarian Race. They become caretakers of the Rannoch.

Legion hide his plans and some infos from us. His reaction was childish, he and Geth were afraid even they didn't know the meaning. They don't want to be non-existed. With our permission Legion sacrifice himself and referred himself as "I" instead of "we." He became an only one person and a unit who had a soul. After that all Geth have their own knowledge and personality, separated from united network. Finally there were peace between Geth and the Quarians. This was their chance to redeem themselves and understand each other. Geth welcome the Quarians to the Rannoch, helped them to rebuild. This peace was the hope of how Organic and Synthetic Life can be together.

Javik said "We organics have no idea about how we were created, it is a mystery. Above all, machines know the reason they were created. They serve a purpose while we search aimlessly for ours. In their eyes, organics have no reason to exist." He was wrong, synthetics' purpose aren't different from us. For finding our purpose we will search, read, talk, analyzed the life and the events all around us. This is same for the synthetics, too. We will evolve to a greater generation with what we learn and experienced, also synthetics will evolve with upgrading their program if we give them a chance how to learn. We are all machines, some of us more soft and fleshy then others. But basically all of us have a program in their brain. And we called it social consciousness, my ass.

Eventually we convinced the TIM for doing the right thing or we killed him in progress. Regardless, we reach our purpose, we do everything we can and fell unconscious. We should go to a bar near the sea and watch Mordin, when he performing tests on seashells.

"Look Shepard, seashells!"

Instead of this we wake up and come face to face a ghost boy who assumes he is the Catalyst and the Citadel was part of his being. He was the one who created all of this and the Reapers was his solution. We talked with him--the hell, I'm just going to copy paste all the conversation here;

Shep: I need to stop the Reapers, do you know how?

Child: Perhaps, they are my solution.

Shep: The solution to what?

Child: Chaos. The created will always rebel against their creators. But we found a way to stop that from happening. A way to restore order for the next cycle.

Shep: By wiping out organic life?

Child: No. We harvest advanced civilizations, leaving the younger ones alone. Just as we left your people alive last time we were here.

Shep: But you kill the rest.

Child: We helped them ascend so they could make way for new life, storing the old life in Reaper form.

Shep: I think we'd rather keep our own form.

Child: No, you can't. Without us the stop it, synthetics would destroy all organics. We created the cycle so that never happens. That's the solution.

Shep: But you're taking away our future. Without future, we have no hope. Without hope... we might as well be machines, programmed to do what we're told.

Child: You have hope. More than you think. The fact you are standing here, the first organic ever, proves it. But it also proves my solution won't work anymore.

Shep: So now what?

Child: We find a new solution.

Shep: Yeah, but how?

Child: The Crucible changed me. Created new... possibilities. But I can't make them happen. I know you've thought about destroying us. You can wipe out all synthetic life if you want. Including the Geth. Even you, part of synthetic.

Shep: But the Reapers will be destroyed?

Child: Yes, but the peace won't last. Soon your children will create synthetics, and then the chaos will come back.

Shep: Maybe...

Child: Or do you think you can control us?

Shep: Huh. So... the Illusive Man was right after all.

Child: Yes, but he could never have taken control... because we already controlled him.

Shep: But I can...

Child: You will die. You will control us, but you will lose everything you have.

Shep: But the Reapers will obey me?

Child: Yes. There is another solution.

Shep: Yeah?

Child: Synthesis.

Shep: And that is?

Child: Add your energy to the crucible's. Everything you're will be absorbed and then sent out... The chain reaction will combine all synthetic and organic life into new framework. A new... DNA.

Shep: I... don't know.

Child: Why not? Synthetics are already part of you. Can you imagine your life without them?

Shep: And there will be peace?

Child: The cycle will end. Synthesis is the final evolution of life. But we need each other to make it happen. You have a difficult decision. Releasing the energy of the crucible will end the cycle, but it will also destroy the mass relays. The paths are open. But you have to chose.

(I'm leaving the rest of this to my Shepard, I'm sure she can explain much better then me.)

"BULLSHIT!! I re-unite the Geth and Quarians. I make them understand each other. I listen and answer every questions of EDI and Legion with patience, understanding and trust like a parent figure. Every children rebel against their own parents and in the end all of them see the truth about life and growing up. WITHOUT you to help three hundred years ago Geth already let the Quarians run away from Rannoch. Geth DID NOT follow them for destruction. They refuse the wiping out from the entire race!

I'm not fucking afraid from dying for the sake of the damn galaxy. But if I get rid of the all synthetic life forms in the future organics will create them again, like you said. Nothing will be changed.

I don't want to control the Reapers, it is not a solution just an another delay of a massive destruction. Because you can create another Reaper-like life forms for wiping out the organic and try to restore the cycle shit. And how the hell I will know you're not trying to indoctrinate me, too?

And synthesis? Hell NO! I'm not gonna sacrifice myself for that bullshit. Even I sacrifice myself for it there will be no gain. All life forms became a free-rider. Unless they not work, not fight for it. Nobody will be grateful if you just give them to the suddenly gifted final evolving synthesis stage. They will not question it, they will not work for it, they will not understand the meaning of it and sacrificed lives in this way. And in some point they will create something else because evolving will NEVER ends. And you gone mad again, saying things like 'Chaos there is we must wipe out all of them!' FUCK. YOU. With all the difference species and ideas, galaxy is in chaos even without synthetics. But there is harmony in that damn chaos. Even chaos has its own order. Despite all of these things if we, if I wipe out the all synthetic life then we will never be able to evolve and earn to that synthesis stage.

And what the hell 'it will also destroy the mass relays'? If they will be destroyed then all the civilized galaxy races will be trapped in the Sol System. Except few species how all of them stay alive in the Earth? Or Mars, Moon? We don't eat the same thing with Turians and Quarians. Without a proper life support whatever I choose sooner or later all organic life will be end for being trapped in the same system.

With this solutions of yours, you're wiping out of all the hope, future, evolving and the reason for being. And none of your offers are better for galaxy nor us. AND only thing you do is dancing around the words and pretending like a smart jackass. So, GET. THE. FUCK. OFF!!"

"Fuck off!"

I believe both I and my Shepard are express ourselves pretty good about the shitty logic of ME3 Ending. And if rumors are true and there was a FREE DLC which show us the "real glorious" ending then I salute you BioWare and THEN I will buy my own copy of the game. Because you will gain my respect and love again. But if not, if this is the best thing you can give us then... then there is no hope. I even lost my desire to buy and play SWTOR.

Then I saw this, from this angle I can say I'm glad to hear my money stays in my pocket. Plus, "Comments are closed." my ass.

Also a friend send this vid to me, I watched it when I finished the writing and he is talking about pretty same things as me, as any other ME fan. And as we know, great minds think alike.

Well, that was a hell of a... writing. I'm done I think. Now time to wait for summer and that so to say DLC. Also sorry for the grammar mistakes, so tried to check. Maybe later.

Del out.