Shitstorm! - Vol. II

Shitstorm! - Vol. II (I cut it half the previous writing so I can focus on different shits.) I'm going to talk/write about some minor things now. Like relationship between characters. I saw so many people bitching about the how less conversations are. They are so damn right. In some moment Liara should talk about how our little blue children going to like. We should drink with Garrus and talk about good old days. When you didn't romance both Garrus and Tali, they start showing interest to each other. That was a nice one but I want to see more of them. Would be nice if we saw a mini-cinematic between Tali and Garrus when preparing for the Last Push. I wish when I was reading my messages in my cabin and thinking about the mission, Liara come by hug and give a little kiss to me, "Just want to say how much I love you Shepard," then she leaves. Or we can do such thing to our love interests in game. People, lovers, friends can just randomly want to show each other how they were special to them. I bite softly people's shoulder when I want to show them to I care. It's my weirdness though but you get my meaning.
"I love you pumpkin."
Doodle by me.

Do anyone realized how cheap dialogues was? I mean even you didn't romance with characters they still acting like you have the potential. I tried to be friendly to Kaidan but he fell in love with my FemShep. There should be an option "stay as friends." What the hell is "being professional"? I AM ROMANCING WITH LIARA SINCE FIRST ME! So actually I'm not being professional since I was allowing my "bondmate" in an alliance vessel. We decided to have lots of blue babies. There must be an option about that.
Kaidan: "I want to talk about us."
Shep: "Us?" (With a raising eyebrow)
Kaidan: "I have feelings for you Shepard."
Shep: "Kaidan... you are my friend and a good soldier I can always count on it." (Cliche!)
Kaidan: "I want to be more than this, Shepard." (Puppy eyes.)
Shep: "Kaidan, sorry. There is..." (music entrance "I was lost without you" and Shepard's head turned forward, her eyes focus on something) "There is someone else." (Cam changing so we can see Liara from Apollo's Cafe)
Kaidan: "I... see." (Kaidan squint at Liara under his eyelashes then drop his head while turning his eyes away) "That wasn't the answer I was hoping for."
Shep: "..."
(then dinner arrives)
Kaidan: "Oh, when did it get here." (Trying to smile.) "So, you're the one going to pay than." (Or whatever he said in original dialogue.)
Shep: (Chuckles)
And how to hell Kaidan just suddenly forget his love? I mean he was taking signals wrong since ME1. After 3 years, still in love with Shepard. No one can rip such a 3-years-old-love from their heart or mind this quick. After that little talking he act like he never had feelings. And only thing that make my argument wrong was his last words, "Don't get me wrong Shepard, I will fight like hell to see you in the other side." Okaaay, sensitive-possible-gay-boy still have feelings to FemShep. I thought he is going to kiss me and it get scare the hell out of me! 

I told Cortez to get safety and his answer was "Anything for you Shepard!" this is little bit "more than friends" kinda dialogue, y'know? MAN IS GAY! And I'm female. Come on.

In the game, there is some cinematics without Shepard. For example Admiral Hackett and Anderson talk in the beginning then later Hackett and the Crucible. Necessary things. But there would be a mini cinematics for fun and for side-stories. Showing us what the hell happening in other people's lives. Which can show us Kaidan, while he was drinking... with someone. With James maybe? Come on, sensitive boy just rejected by his 3-years-old-love, little drinking and pep talk, guy-to-guy, you know? Like brocode! Or with Specialist Treynor? Little bit fooling around, don't have to take this one serious;

Samantha: "So, yeah. There was someone I liked. A women, actually. I gave all the signals but she just... refuse them. All of them. Damn I was so suure."
Kaidan: "Yeah... it was, almost 3 years. Y'know. ans she said, there is someone else. She was always nice to me. And we share so much things. Friends we lost, than Geth, Reapers... Normandy's crash... I was so, so ruined when I thought she was dead. then I saw her, I..."
Samantha: "Wait, who are you talking about?"
Kaidan: "I-I'm talking about... Shepard."
Samantha: "Shepard? I thought she was into men and because of that she refuse me... nicely like not understand what was my intention."
Kaidan: "Wait, you were talking about Shepard?"
Samantha: "Yes, I was... that was, awkward. You know?"
Kaidan: "Yeah... I know."
Samantha: "But then who is she interesting?"
EDI: "Sorry to interrupt. Commander Shepard has a long term relationship with Dr. T'soni."
Samantha: "Really? I never saw them close to each other."
EDI: (from lounge's speakers) "They are very busy about their duties and don't have enough time to see each other."
Samantha: "Even they are in same ship?"
EDI: "Yes."
Kaidan: (mubble mubble) "From a lower deck rumor to the reality."

I really like dialogues between James and Fem"Lola"Shep, well there would be more though. Dr. Chakwas should have more role and dialogues. I mean, after few hard mission later we can saw her while patching us up. 

What about Kal'Reegar? That man sacrifice himself and his team near to end of game. We learn that shit from ANN? Why Tali didn't show any emotional breakdown or something? Why we did not talk with her? He was Tali's friend, right? So why?

What the hell Kolyat asked us if we remember him? Man, we saved your ass for the sake of your dad and his loyalty. Of course we remember you. Also, I saw some vids. Why Kolyat don't said "He loved you, Commander. As much as he loved my mother," kind of things to Shepard who romanced with Thane?

Ashley called Shepard as "Skipper" and she never use this nickname in ME3. Not even in dreams if she died in Virmire. 

Romance Shit
One of the things make me so mad was romance options. Okay, I actually stick with my adorable blue cupcake Liara but I can't just stay without seeing injustice in this. I don't care if they continued from ME2 or not, but giving M!Shep 5 options while F!Shep having only 2 is a FUCKIN' injustice (put aside the options for both). We get it, game industry still refusing "existence of girl gamers" and you are not into same sex relationship(!) since you make the gain Paramour Achievement with only opposite sex relationship and not giving M!Shep a male romance option in ME2. And "end" must be close since you suddenly decided to give us Cortez, Samantha and Gay-Kaidan but not Gay-Ash in ME3.

Also I was talking with a friend about generally ME3 and she remind me few things I missed. She was romanced with Kaidan, and according to her there was a "Oh, I want you right now let's go and fuck at Normandy," kind of dialogue options. Seriously? Okay, after reminding Liara how I want to make our little blue children I would like to see wake up near to her few times. Maybe just cuddling. We're busy like hell because of duty but you can always find time for cuddling. But making romance dialogues straight to the "let's fuck" is so unprofessional and lame. We're in 21th Century people, even gamers have boy/girlfriend. We know how to fuck and I can assure you we even know more then how to fuck.

Under the Mask
I wasn't romance with Tali but when I checked Mass Effect Wiki I saw Tali's Photo. Seriously? Everybody can choose a stock photo and do some un-artistic photomontage. 


I saw so many Quarian and Tali concept arts made by fans. They were far beautiful and artistic than this lame photomontage. I want to share few of them;

Left: By Annergy -  Middle: By Nebezial, 3d model of his wife Calisto-Lynn's Tali re-desing. - Right: By Alecyl
Left: By Weissidian - Right: By Calisto-Lynn
This known as made by someone called "Vaspez." Unfortunately I couldn't find the original one.

Also few Quarian Concept Arts made by fans again;

By Miss-Dronio, also she has a Kal'Reegar art, which is "manly."

Maybe we can even like Tali's Photo if she should looked like this;

At least anatomy is correct.

You know, what? We could not accept it even she looked like this. Don't get me wrong, Unicron9 do a good job with fixing that lame photo, but when you think of BioWare you can see this is not enough. Why? Let me tell. Because in ME2 when we talked with Matriarch Aethyta in the bar, she said something like "how she was old" and "how was it sucks when you get that old and nobody around you remember what Quarians looked like under their helmet." If Quarians looked like such semi-human or pink-skinned-asari-without-hair-tentacles-but-hair she wouldn't say that or she would bitching about it differently. So why the heavens Aethyta said something like that?! Lazy BioWare is LAZY.

Drinking Issius
Another thing, Dr. Chackwas said, "I learn my lesson Commander. Even a Krogan couldn't match you drink-for-drink." But we get deadly drunk with what 3-4 shots at Purgatory and wake up near the Aria? And when we go for another round wake up in the elevator and no more drinks for us? Oh, come ooon!! Okay, as Shepard we can't dance we know that, but drink? Come on. And don't say what s/he drink is important. They could make few options, "Drink," "Get drunk," "Get deadly drunk." Or wouldn't be nice if we woke up in that elevator shoulder to shoulder with James Vega. Think about the conversations!
Vega: "Ugh, the hell we drink Lola/Loco?"Shep: "That was a hell of shore leave Lieutenant. Lets back to Normandy before they send a search team."Vega: "Roger that."
(It's 3 a.m. something, I can only be this creative right now.)
All the ME series I finally like Ashley when I saw her on the floor, drunk as hell.
Ash: "I hate you."
Shep: "I hate you...?"
Ash: "Ma'am."
Shep: "As you were, Williams."
Ash: "Hmm... cold floor."
And why the hell everybody can drink in the lounge but Shepard can't?

Asari Father-In-Law
We met Matriarch Aethyta at Apollo's Cafe in Citadel. That was nice, and as Shepard realizing she is Liara's father was awesome. Nobody messes with my girl! After making Liara to talk with her, I wish there was more option for us to interfere. Father-in-Law Matriarch Aethyta, hilarious. Also she gave a Asari Commando girls who worked with Eclipse to Liara, why we don't get any "Shadow Broker's Personal Asari Commando Team" update? Or "Ex-Eclipse Commando Asari Girls" update? WHY?! Or why Matriarch Aethyta and her followers didn't join us? Seeing her in action wouldn't be awesome? She is not a Commando but like she said, after all those years you can learn how to fight dirty. We even can talk with her from comn when we were preparing for the Last Push. Again, think about the conversations!
Shep: Matriarch Aethyta.
Aeth: Shepard.
Shep: I appreciate the help.
Aeth: Yeah, yeah. What was I gonna do? I can't let my little girl to get upset over your sorry ass.
Shep: *chuckles*
Aeth: Hey, Shepard.
Shep: Yes?
Aeth: Watch yourself out there. I'm kinda thinking it's time for me to have grandkids.
Shep: Acknowledge.
Dude! I'm Commander Shepard, I'm fighting through the Husks and all the other abominations, I'm a badass, tomboy, military woman. What the fuck is that bra? I think she even not have enough boobs for that damn bra! All characters' personality change with the gamer and some minor thing such as underwears shows part of that personality. And my badass military woman definitely not the bra type woman. She absolutely wear a boyish mini-short kind of undies with a tank top. There should be a way to choose character underwears! Those ugliest classic women underwears ruin the night(?) I spend with Liara. And with that the galaxy's most adorable Asari thinks humans have sex with shitty underwear, really BioWare, really? MAN DID YOU EVER TRY TO SLEEP WITH SUCH BRA!! IT IS PAIN IN THE ASS! Now, I'm waiting for a some kind of mod or something. Don't like the nude mods though.

I was a Vanguard so no Omni-Blade for me. Okay, I can accept that because I get a fancy Biotic-Punch. And I LOVE it. It was more suitable to my Shepard then Omni-Blade. When Thane wounded by Kai Leng I want to tear him apart with my ass-kicking biotic. But instead of this I stab him with Omni-Blade. What. The. Fuck. Since we going to stab that SOB with fucking Omni-Blade why you didn't let me to use fucking Ombi-Blade from beginning of the fucking game?!

War Assets? Results?
We do so much things around the galaxy. We make Krogan-Turian and Geth-Quarian peace, cured the Genophage, released the Rachni, help the Citadel Security and other things. Their consequences must be more then just War Esset numbers. I mean I hit the 5000+ points in my semi-3rd play but nothing changed? 

Who the hell possessed the Joker's mind so he runned away from the fight with our crew on board? Why the heck our squadmates were in that fricking ship? How they save their asses from Harbinger's laser? Did Liara or EDI or another one are such idiots to change their combat outfits to casual ones IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT?! If we decided to destroy the synthetic life showing how Geth or EDI burn out would nailing the concept. And after all that shaking how Joker can still walk?!

To be honest I don't get the idea of labelling the endings as color names; blue, red and green? Also I didn't get why people bitching about that color labels, too. Only thing is sticking in my head was Green. Why Green? There are three primary colors, which are blue, red and yellow. Why Green instead of Yellow? Or when you mixed the blue and red you will have purple or violet, whatever. Still why Green instead of Purple or Violet? There is a higher meaning in the Green we don't know? Or it is just because money is Green? Is it a help call sending by BioWare? Like when we in Luna Base and destroy the rough AI (EDI) we saw a message comprised by 1s and 0s. Which is meaning was "HELP."


I wrote this one in 9th of April but forget to post it... so here it is. Maybe I will add more things later. Also check this out. and follow the comic!

Plus, what the fuck happened to Blogger? This new posting shit is so fucking... *sigh*

Can anybody tell me if there is any "turn to old version" button and where the hell it is? I'm so tired and irritated for checking it right now.


  1. My FemShepard didn't get into a single relationship across the series. Not by choice, I just didn't feel like anyone really "fit" with my version of the character.

    Kaiden came close, although "you're my brother" I think summed up that relationship better. If she were into freaky bug people, then Garrus or Tali would probably be candidates. (Although I like how Garrus and Tali kind of hook up at the end in my playthrough).

    Thane was a bit of a kindred spirit, but he died in my ME 2 playthrough.

    ...Samantha Traynor was probably the closest connection in that way I could find for my Shepard. Shame she didn't get the hint. Is it even possible for FemShep to pursue her? Maybe I picked the wrong dialogue.

    1. Probably you picked the wrong dialogue. Because Sam is the "only into ladies" character in the series. If MaleShep tries to romancing with her, she said "how EDI's voice so attractive to her," you probably saw it on the youtube or somewhere.

      I was planning my FemShep to be "a lone wolf" kind a girl, I created the character specifically in this way, until I bumped to Liara, then... well lots of blue little children and stuff.

      I liked Garrus, he is a nice romance option but I'm glad I didn't romanced with him because seeing him and Tali together was nice touch.

      Didn't you replay? Another playthrough? Somehow I saved everyone in my first playthrough and didn't realized "they can die stuff" before reading the wiki.